Boaty McBoatface Will Be Called RRS Sir David Attenborough

In the most disappointing turn of events of the past century or so, the UK's new $300 million research vessel will not be called Boaty McBoatface, it's rightful name that won the internet poll that the Natural Environment Research Council foolish set up fair and square. It will instead by called RRS Sir David Attenborough, because the British government is lame. (They are going to call some little remotely operated undersea thingie Boaty McBoatface, but that almost makes it worse, like when you ask for candy and your mom offers you raisins instead.)

There is only one thing left to do. David Attenborough must change his name to Boaty McBoatface. We're not sure how that is going to help, but we know that it must be done. Come on, sir, do the right thing here.

• British Government to Thwart the Will of the People, Nix 'RRS Boaty McBoatface' [Flipped]

• Fun Police: Ship Won't Be Called Boaty McBoatface [Gizmodo]