In the distant days of spring and summer, while you liberal elites were enjoying the first flush of vaccinations at your country homes, mayoral candidates pummeled the voters of New York City with their personalities. It all ended on June 22, when a bathtub full of wanna-be mayors were kicked back to high-paid consultant status, mostly because they were really well-qualified women and/or owned by big banks.
The loudest and most chaotic of all these candidates was Andrew Yang. He was too much — charging through bodegas that were actually supermarkets one moment, talking about the blockchain the next. The racist media made fun of him for living in New Paltz during the pandemic and for not voting in a mayoral election since the ’90s. New Yorkers were afeared. If elected, he surely would be captured by fishy cryptocurrency interests and Bay Area tech-bro power players!
But since he won the Democratic nomination and then became the mayor-elect, Andrew Yang has flowered into the best version of himself. So far, he has:
• Promised to take his first three paychecks in bitcoin (somehow).
• Promised to give crypto wallets to the employees of the city of New York.
• Has already led the children away from fear of the blockchain.
• Made an incredibly chaotic suggestion to both extend Citibike and to introduce Citibike competitors across the city.
• Praised technology for its uses in “urban farming, dyslexia screening, and even combating anti-Semitism.”
• Was up all night, up all day; Yang Gang represent.
• Went on Colbert to give him rolling papers and what looked like three dime bags shoved together in another bag, with an index card encouraging New York to be cool and have fun again. (He did not buy weed for the show, according to his spokesperson.)
• Also on Colbert, dunked brutally on ol’ Big Bird.
• Showed up 40 minutes late to the grand opening of a bike parking structure on, of course, his bike — which still has a backward fork. Examination of spectator video also suggests his front tire’s quick-release skewer still seems to be dangerously pointing outward.
• Created a big-business transition team that includes the CFO of Goldman Sachs. Feeling left out? You can buy your way in for a minimum of $1,000. It’s New York City, baby!
Andrew Yang’s mayoralty, even though the beginning of his term is still 40-something days away, is already a success.
