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What Do You Call 1,000 Burning Porsches?


There are nearly 4,000 cars burning uncontrollably somewhere in the Atlantic and, for once, it has nothing to do with Elon Musk. A cargo ship traveling from Germany to Rhode Island loaded up with vehicles hot off Volkswagen’s assembly line caught fire on Wednesday morning near the Azores. All 22 crew members evacuated safely, but the cars — including an estimated 1,100 Porsches, 189 Bentleys, and an undisclosed number of Lamborghinis — well, let’s just say they might not make it.

The emissions created by burning three football fields’ worth of cars is, admittedly, not great, but if you think about this holistically — and given Volkswagen’s record — accidentally torching its product may be one of the most climate- and pedestrian-friendly investments the company could make! Sinking these vehicles and inadvertently converting luxury SUVs to coral reefs is kind of a net win for the planet.

And don’t feel too bad for the people who lost custom Porsches; I’m sure Volkswagen will get everyone’s money back — it has a lot of experience with legal settlements!

What Do You Call 1,000 Burning Porsches?